When I Needed You
by MagicMemories
Summary: Alison DiLaurentis can't deny her feelings for Emily Fields any longer, but what will happen when she discovers what her recent actions have done to Emily? AU story and Alison doesn't disappear. My first attempt at fanfiction. Rated M for Self Harm and Eating Disorders. Emison
1. Secret's Out

Alison finishes applying her make up and stands in front of her mirror, giving her appearance a once over. Satisfied, she puts her phone, keys, make up and wallet in her bag before tossing it over her shoulder. Making sure she has everything before closing the door slowly behind her. As she slowly makes her way down the stairs, her right hand running lightly along the wooden rail, opens her front door and locks it behind her, her mind is a made up of jumbled up thoughts and feelings. She wonders about her brothers odd behaviour of late. Sure Jason spends most of his time high but recently she has caught him in her bedroom with a video camera pointing in the direction of the Hasting's house. He had freaked out when she caught him and had avoided her since. Alison couldn't understand why Jason would be filming inside Spencer's bedroom. All her efforts to discover what her brother was up to had been in vain. She thinks about Emily; how the brunette had made a move on her in the locker room and had been coldly rejected. She wonders if Aria will be able to withstand her Dad's manipulation and do the right thing and tell her mom about his affair.

In her thought-filled haze, she barely notices a bush rustling behind her as she reaches her car. She stops dead in her tracks, fear and panic clutching at her heart, like someone has a hold on it and is squeezing it tightly. She snaps her head to the left, and then the right, and then behind her, scanning the area but finding nothing. She nervously opens the door of her car, taking one last glance behind her before sitting in the drivers seat and closing the door. As she reaches up to adjust the mirror, she swears she sees a black shape moving in the trees. She quickly turns the key in the ignition and drives away from her house. She can feel her heart thumping rapidly in her chest. Was she imagining it? Or had someone been at her house watching her?

Barely focusing on the road, Alison wonders if Emily is expecting her. She had texted the brunette earlier in the week, saying she would come over some time though not giving a specific time or date. 'Whatever.' Emily had responded over an hour later and Ali remembers how she felt her heart shatter in her chest when she read the message. Emily's anger at the blonde evident in the text. Alison hated herself for hurting Emily, she wished things could be different. But she was Alison DiLaurentis, Queen Bee of Rosewood High and town "It" Girl. She had a reputation. Though she so wished that she could be with Emily without it being frowned upon or being scared what people would think. She couldn't love Emily Fields…. But she did, she really really did. Though her actions spoke otherwise and no matter how much the blonde denied it even to herself, the fact remained.

Alison DiLaurentis was in love with Emily Fields.

"I can't be gay" Alison thought to herself as she sped past the school on the way to Emily's, "I simply can't be, what would my parents say, my brother. What about Spencer, Aria and Hanna or everybody else at school?" Alison had many secrets, but she swore to herself this was one she would take to the grave.

Alison's thoughts continued to wage war with each other until she pulled into the Fields' driveway, noticing Emily's car was the only one there, meaning the brunette was home alone. She took a deep breath to centre herself herself before opening the car door with shaking hands and making her way inside.

"Em? It's me, where are you?" She calls as she pushes the front door open and steps inside. No answer. Thinking she might be in her room, Alison slowly makes her way up the stairs, her wedges clapping against the wood of the staircase, she removes the shoes and places them at the top of the stairs.

From the beginning of the hallway, Alison hears sniffling coming from the room at the far end of the hallway; Emily's room. She steps forward, her right food leaning on a loose floorboard which sends a creak through the second floor of the house. Alison's heart drops when she hears a gasp of pain, a hoarse voice murmuring 'Shit!' and the light ring of a small piece of metal hitting the floor.

Panic rushes through Alison as she doesn't think twice, rushing into the brunette room, but what she sees makes her stop dead in her tracks as she feels her heart sink to the floor, tears welling in her eyes, sucking in a gasp of shock at the sight before her.

Emily is sitting on the tiled floor of her bathroom, her eyes red and puffy. It's obvious the swimmer has been crying. What startles Ali more however, is Emily's arms. Along her smooth, naturally tan skin was a series of angry red lines with blood trickling down them, almost like her arms are crying tears of red…cuts. More than a dozen of them. Some were big and deep, others were small and superficial, but they were cuts all the same. Alison refuses to let the tears fall as her eyes widen in fear and concern for the girl she loves. Her eyes stinging with the effort to hold them in. Alison takes a step closer and sees Emily clutching a silver razor blade in her right hand, holding it between her thumb and index finger, poised over her left wrist, ready to let the blade kiss her skin once again.

Upon seeing Alison in the doorway, Emily turns her wrist so that her fingers are pointed upwards, she releases the blade from her two fingers and it falls into the palm of her hand, where she then closes her fingers around it, making a fist, as the blade pierces her hand blood makes it's way down her hand and onto the floor.

In 3 swift strides, Alison is standing in front of the girl she loves more than anyone else in the world, the girl she loves who won't look at her. Emily's eyes are fixed on the tiled wall opposite her, but they are blank and glassy, like she is a million miles away. Alison lets the tears flow now, not bothering to stop them as she falls to her knees in front of the broken girl.

"Em…" She tries to speak as she takes Emily's closed, bleeding fist in both her hands and gently tires to pry her fingers from her palm in order to reach the blade now piercing her mermaids skin. Emily continues to stare blankly at the wall on the other side of the room but she tightens her fingers, digging her nails…and the blade deeper into her hand. "Emily please, give it to me, please" Alison begs softly, her voice barely louder than a whisper. Still, Emily won't budge, her eyes still focused on the wall opposite. "For me…" Alison breathes, her voice trembling. At these words, Emily turns to look at the blonde. Seeing the pain in Alison's eyes and the tears on her face, Emily gives in. She lets her fingers loosen around her hand but doesn't open it. Alison gently pulls Emily's fingers away from her palm one by one until she sees the silver blade buried deeply in her friends hand. Alison carefully removes the blade from Emily's skin and places it in her pocket, vowing to destroy it.

Emily lets out a small whimper before the tears come. She can barely breathe in between sobs as she feels an intense sense of pain at the blonde discovering her secret. Alison reaches up and cups Emily's face gently in her hands, placing a light kiss on her forehead before pulling the broken girl into her chest. Emily buries her head in the crook of Alison's neck and sobs while Alison rubs her back in an up and down motion with one hand and stroking her hair with the other. They stay like this for over 10 minutes, Emily sitting on the floor, Alison on her knees in front of her, silently comforting her. Alison finally breaks the silence. Still holding Emily in her arms protectively.

"Oh sweetie…why? Why would you do this to yourself?" Emily doesn't speak, she simply continues sobbing into Alison's neck.

Alison pulls away and stands up, picking Emily up bridal style and carrying her into her room. Since Emily is taller than Alison it takes every ounce of the girls strength to pick the swimmer up off the floor and into her arms but she manages. She places Emily down on her bed and places a pillow under the brunettes head.

"Stay here" Alison says firmly, placing a light kiss on Emily's tear-stained cheek. "I'll be right back"

Emily says nothing, her eyes fixed on the ceiling. Alison pulls the bedspread over Emily, making sure her arms are turned so her cuts are facing upwards so as to not get blood on the sheets, before turning to the door and walking out of the room.

She walks slowly down the stairs, fighting tears. As she enters the kitchen, she quickly sets about looking for the first aid kit. She thinks about Emily, sweet,innocent Emily, and what she had just witnessed. She finally loses it, sinking to her knees on the kitchen floor. There are tears streaming down her face. "Why Emily, why?" Alison whispers brokenheartedly. The reality of what she had seen finally sinking in. Those cuts were self inflicted, Emily did it to herself.

EMILY

DID

IT

TO

HERSELF

This thought brings Alison back to the situation at hand. Realising that Emily is still bleeding upstairs, rather badly. Alison rises to her feet and continues searching for the first aid kit, finally finding it on the top shelf in the pantry. She holds it as steady as possible in her shaking hands as she pads quietly up the stairs. Quietly opening the door and walking in.

"Em?" Alison begins softly, approaching the brunette, who hasn't moved since she left the room. "Em, I am going to clean your arms and bandage them okay?" Emily doesn't answer, her eyes still fixed on the ceiling. Alison sits on the bed at Emily's feet, placing the first aid kid next to her before reaching forward to help Emily sit up. Alison gently pushes Emily back so her back is against the headboard, placing a pillow behind the brunettes head. Alison gently takes Emily's right hand in hers, carefully avoiding the deep cut on her palm and pulls it towards her so that Emily's arm is extended. Alison brings the swimmers arm up to her face, carefully examining the cuts one by one.

As she studies each self-inflicted wound. Alison can feel a sense of guilt building up inside her. Was she responsible for this? Had her cruel rejection of the brunette in the locker room led Emily to do this? Alison feels hatred for herself rising up in her until it erupts like a volcano and has to resist the urge to take the razor blade in her pocket to her own skin to punish herself for leading her darling Emily to take the blade to her beautiful body. She wipes the tears that threaten to fall and opens the first aid kit laying beside her.

Alison first wipes down every cut with soap and warm water, before cleaning them with an antiseptic wipe, apologising when she hears Emily whimper in pain. Once all the cuts have been cleaned and the bleeding has stopped, Alison carefully wraps two layers of gauze on Emily's arms before covering them with a bandage, and using medical tape to attach the end to the bandage so it wouldn't fall off.

Once both of Emily's arms have been cleaned and wrapped, she settles on her bed so she is laying down. Alison walks to the other side of the bed, sitting against the headboard and pulling Emily's head into her lap. Stroking Emily's hair and caressing her face. She feels her heart break at seeing her Emily so utterly broken like this. She leans down and places a light kiss on the brunettes forehead before whispering "I'm sorry" into her ear. She proceeded to kiss both of Emily's cheeks, nose, jaw and finally lips, each with a whispered "I'm sorry". She continues to place kisses all over Emily's face until the girl falls asleep.

After a couple of hours, Alison feels Emily start to stir. She hasn't left the brunette this whole time, Emily's head still resting in her lap. Alison stokes Emily's hair gently as the swimmer slowly opens her eyes and turns her head to look up at the blonde.

"Ali…?"

Alison leans down and presses a kiss to Emily's forehead before pulling back to look at her, blue eyes meeting brown.

"Oh Emily…why sweetie? Why would you do this to yourself?" She breathes. Tone making it evident that she is heartbroken.

"Y..You stayed?"

"Of course, you were hurting, I couldn't leave you" Alison says, voice shaking as she fights back tears once again.

"Ali I'm so sorry you…"

"No Emily please don't, I'm the one that should be sorry. I'm the one that broke your heart in the locker room. Don't deny it because we both know I did. I'm the one that made cruel jokes about you liking girls. I'm the one that should be hurting right now, not you Emily. I'M sorry Emily. Please let me make it up to you. I swear I will protect you until the day I die, I love you Emily Fields, I always have. I was just too scared about what people would think and how my parents would take it. I was afraid, I'm not anymore. I love you, I love you, I love you."

"Ali…I don't know what to say"

"Shhh" Alison coos as she caresses Emily's face gently "Don't stress, I'm right here and I'm never leaving again"

"I love you Ali"

"I love you too"

Milk chocolate brown eyes meet ice blue ones and Alison leans down to the broken girl in her arms and kisses her softly on the lips, feeling Emily's breath hitch in response. The next thing Ali knows, Emily is kissing her back fiercely, like it's the last time they will ever be together like this. Alison gently runs her tongue across Emily's bottom lip, asking for entrance. The swimmer happily grants it and Alison deepens the kiss. Emily reaches up and buries her hands in Alison's long, golden locks as they explore each others mouths with their tongues.

"Em?" Alison murmurs against the brunettes lips, receiving a hum in response. "Em…has it happened before?" Alison asks as she runs her hands gently along Emily's injured arms. Emily hangs her head and suddenly finds the patterns on her quilt interesting. "Emily look at me" Alison says quietly, tilting Emily's chin with her fingers so the brunette is looking her in the eye. "Have you done this before?" The blonde asks again, this time more firmly.

"Yes" Emily mutters under her breath, looking down again. She expects Alison to get up and leave in disgust, saying that she could never love a girl with scars and that she was just practicing with her again.

Instead Alison places one arm under Emily's back and helps the swimmer sit up, resting her butt on her feet as she takes both of Emily's hands in hers. "Where?" The blonde asks cautiously, choking back a sob. The fact that this isn't the first time her Emily has done this to herself breaks her heart even more, she can literally feel it cracking inside her.

Emily doesn't answer, looking down to the ground again and staring to pick at her fingernails anxiously. She can't let Alison see, she can't let the blonde see her ugly scars that cover her body. She can't let the blonde see anymore than she already has. Alison could not see what Emily hid underneath her clothes, she can't have Alison thinking less of her, her heart couldn't cope with rejection from the blonde now.

As if reading her mind, Alison reaches up and places her right hand on Emily's tear-stained cheek, wiping them away with her thumb. Emily sighs softly and leans into her hand, the blondes touch soothing her. "I'm not going anywhere and I'm not going to judge you, you don't have to worry" The blonde whispered. Her voice sultry.

"It's so embarrassing" Emily manages, her heart beating rapidly in her chest.

"Don't be" Alison whispered softly, still stroking Emily's cheek with her tongue. "Em…can I please see?"

Emily sucks in a breath before nodding. Alison leans forward so she is inches away from the brunette and grips the hem of her shirt, looking at Emily, silently asking for permission. Emily blinks back tears and nods. Alison pulls the shirt up over the swimmers head and tosses it aside, she then leans moves her hands down and begins unbuttoning Emily's pants, again asking for permission, which the brunette grants. Alison slowly pulls Emily's pants down her long legs and tosses them to join her top. Alison them leans back and scans her eyes up and down the athletes body.

Dozens and dozens for scars cover Emily's hips, thighs and stomach. Some big, some small, some are raised and pink while others are white and almost invisible. Some are fresh while others look old. Alison traces her index finger along the biggest of them, a large cut along Emily's hipbone, it is pink, puffy and looks only a few days old. Alison fights back tears as runs her finger down Emily's thigh, stopping at the last mark halfway down her thigh and tracing it with her finger before doing the same to the one above it and keeps going until she has traced every scar on her mermaids body. Alison then scoots closer to Emily, leaning down and pressing her lips to the first scar, then running her fingers along it before kissing it again. She does this to every angry line on Emily's beautiful skin, making sure not to miss a single one. Giving it loving attention and care, hoping to kiss the pain away.

Emily can't help but feel vulnerable, she is in front of Alison DiLaurentis in just her bra and underwear while the blonde kisses her thighs and stomach repeatedly. Though the blondes tender kisses are soothing the panic she feels, Emily wonders if Alison really means this or if she was just stringing the brunette along. Emily's fears are eviscerated when Alison looks up from her place hovering above Emily's stomach and Emily sees nothing but love and concern in the ice blue eyes of Alison.

Alison swings her legs over the side of the bed and stands up, dragging Emily with her. The blonde has decided its time to show Emily Fields just how beautiful she truly in. Alison takes both of Emily's hands in her own and walks backwards towards Emily's mirror, leading the brunette to stand in front of it. Alison removes her hands from Emily's and walks to stand behind the brunette. Wrapping her arms around Emily's torso as they both stand in front of the mirror. Alison presses a series of kisses along Emily's shoulder before looking into her mermaids eyes in the reflection of the mirror.

"Do you trust me Em?" The blonde breathes softly against her neck while her hands, still wrapped around Emily's waist protectively, draw circles on her scarred skin.

"With my life Alison" The athlete replies cautiously, she didn't know where Alison was going with this, but with Alison's hands tracing patterns on her bare skin, Emily feels safe in the blondes arms.

Alison kissed Emily's shoulder tenderly before running her hands up the brunettes torso, tracing the bottom of her bra all the way until her fingers rested on the clasp on Emily's back. Emily's breath hitches in her throat and she starts to tremble nervously. Alison, feeling the response, undoes the clasp with gentle hands but doesn't remove the bra. Instead she places her hands on Emily's shoulders and uses her thumbs to massage the knots out in an attempt to soothe the swimmer.

"Relax sweetheart" Alison coos into Emily's ear. The beautiful sound settles Emily's nerves as she relaxes into the blonde's gentle hands. Alison finishes pressing her thumbs into Emily's skin and traces her bra straps before slowly sliding them down her arms and removing it, letting it fall to the floor at their feet.

Alison tries not to focus on her mermaids beautiful breasts as she kisses all the way down Emily's back until she reaches her underwear, kissing along the outline of them before hooking her fingers into the waistband and slowly pulling them down, taking care not to brush against Emily's scars. Alison crouches down to help Emily out of the underwear from behind. Once they are off, the blonde rises back to her full height and wraps her arms once again around Emily's torso, planting soft kisses along Emily's shoulder and neck. Emily is now completely naked in Alison's arms as the blonde places soothing kisses along the back of her neck and shoulder blades.

"You should know…" Alison begins as she nuzzles Emily's shoulder and kisses it tenderly. "You are absolutely gorgeous" Alison can feel the heat pool in her stomach at seeing Emily in her purest form, but this isn't about that, it's about showing the brunette just how beautiful she is. "Look at yourself, you are so fucking beautiful" Alison whispers into her ear. Emily turns to look away, but Alison, expecting this, raises one hand from the brunettes waist to place her hand on her cheek to stop her from turning away. "Don't look away" Alison says quietly. "Look, see yourself the way you really are. See your beauty, see how stunning you are, see how much you are worth"

A single tear falls from Emily's eye as she looks at the naked brunette looking back at her, Alison's pale arms wrapped around her protectively. She can't believe that Alison is taking care of her like this. She can't believe the blonde loves her. She can't believe Alison hasn't run away. Emily realises there are two sides to Alison DiLaurentis; the queen bee who bullied people to feel better about herself, and the kind and gentle soul standing behind her right now, the real Alison.

Emily turns to face Alison, blue eyes meeting brown, and captures her lips in a soft kiss. Emily shoves her hands in Alison's hair as the blonde leads them both backwards towards the bed. When the blonde feels her knees hit the edge of the bed she spins them around and gently guides Emily down onto the bed so that the brunette is under her. Alison settles her weight on the athlete, their lips never parting and lifts Emily's thigh, wrapping it around the blondes hip as the kiss deepened. Alison releases Emily's lips, the brunette whimpering at the loss, and latches on to Emily's neck, kissing and sucking softly, causing a moan to escape Emily. Alison kisses her way down Emily's neck and torso, stopping to kiss ever scar on the brunettes body, kissing all the way down to her ankles and back up again, stopping again to plant tender kisses to Emily's self inflicted scars, Alison's lips find Emily's and kiss them softly before she lifts her head to look the brunette in the eye. "Em?"

"Yeah Ali?" Emily answers breathlessly.

Alison picks up one of Emily's arms, placing a kiss on the bandage before kissing each of her knuckles, doing the same,ex with the other arm, her eyes never leaving Emily's. "If you ever get the urge to do this again, promise me you will call me?" Alison asks hopefully. She can't bear the thought of Emily ever taking a blade to her skin again.

"I promise Ali" The brunette responds before leaning up to capture the blondes lips again.

In that moment Alison knew, she would do whatever it takes to protect her mermaid. As they kiss long into the day, losing themselves in each other, Alison vows that she will be everything Em needs her to be. A sister, a friend, a protecter or a lover. She will take care of her until her very last breath.

As Emily lay sleeping in the blondes lap again, exhausted, Alison knew that all she would ever need was in her arms, breathing slowly and peacefully as the blonde watched over her


	2. I'll Take Care Of You

_"Em…Em wake up" _Alison's voice brings her back to the world around her. Her head is resting on the blondes chest while Alison's hand is gently running through her brown hair. Emily groans sleepily. Looking outside, the swimmer can see that night has fallen in Rosewood. What the hell? Why was Alison waking her up if it was dark? Emily sighs loudly as she puts her head back on the blondes chest and closes her eyes again. She hears Alison laughing in her ear softly, the sound quickly becoming Emily's favourite thing. Alison leans down and presses a light kiss behind Emily's ear before whispering to the sleepy brunette _"Come on sleeping beauty, we're going out" _

_"Ali it's…" _Emily reaches over and checks her phone _"7:30 at night, where the hell are we going at 7:30 at night" _Emily groans before shoving her head back into the pillow beside Alison.

_"Then it wouldn't be a surprise would it? Come on, get up and shower, I'll pick out an outfit for you." _Emily looked at the blonde and was surprised by the expression she found on Alison's face. There was no mystery, no deceit, no dishonest. There was just concern…and love. Ali turns to Emily's wardrobe to hide the tears forming in her eyes. She needed answers. She needed to know what was going on with her sweet Emily. She couldn't stand by and let her destroy herself like this. Even if it costs her everything she owns, hell, even if she has to sell her soul to the devil himself, she will protect _her _Emily.

"_Ali what are we doing out here" _Emily asked quietly as she tightened her grip on the blondes hand as Alison led her through the woods. She wasn't sure where they were going, or why Alison was being so insistent that they go out late at night but she knew better than to argue when Alison was as determined as she is right now. Though when they turn a corner, Alison leading the way with Emily close behind, hands clasped together, Emily finally realises where they are. She stops dead in her tracks, her hand grasped Ali's tighter. Alison, noticing this, turns to face Emily, a look of concern on her face. _"Ali why are we at the Kissing Rock?" _

_"I…I need to make things right Emily, I need to protect you" _Alison says shakily and Emily can't help but notice the amount of remorse in Alison's eyes. Emily realises that the blonde blames herself for everything that is happening. Emily feels guilt flood over her for what feels like the millionth time.

_"Ali you're not…" _

_"Em stop okay! I know that I broke your heart in the locker room that day, I know how cruel I have been to you and I feel terrible about it, I did it because I was afraid of my feelings for you because I've never felt this way for anyone else before and it scared me. I can't… Look please can we just keep going and when we get to the rock I'll explain everything okay?" _

Emily scanned Alison's expression looking for any sign of manipulation or deception, she found none. She nodded slightly and Alison reached for Emily's hand and twisted their fingers together again before leading the way through the trees.

When they finally reached the rock, Alison led Emily by the hand to it before turning them around so Emily was facing her with the back of her legs touching the rock. Alison places both her hands on Emily's shoulders and gently pushes down on them, urging Emily to sit on the rock. Once Emily is seated on the rock, Alison takes both hands in hers and kneels down in front of Emily, tucking her feet underneath her thighs on the ground.

_"Emily…the reason I brought you here is because I'm so worried about you I can't bear to let you out of my sight for even a second. I feel like if I leave you alone you're going to do something terrible to yourself and I'll lose you for good. I couldn't live with myself if that happened Emily. You're everything to me. So wether you like it or not, I am going to help you. I will be your shoulder to cry on, I'll be the one that is going to hold you, the one who will wipe your tears and fight away all your fears. I will not leave you alone in this. But I need to understand this, I need to know why you put your body through this torture. Please Emily…tell me everything. _Alison finishes by placing light kisses all the way up Emily's scarred arms, kissing every mark on her skin wether it be old or new, big or small.

Alison's kisses soothe Emily's nerves somewhat. She takes a deep breath to settle her racing heart before looking the blonde in the eye. Alison waits patiently, rubbing her thumbs over Emily's hands, silently assuring her that it is okay and she is here. She sees a tear roll down Emily's cheek and leans up and presses a kiss to it.

_"It's been a lot to handle lately…I mean, nobody knows that I'm gay and I can't tell my parents, they'll be so disappointed in me. I'm failing at school. My coach says I'm falling behind in swimming and I'm at risk of being kicked off the team and you…" _Alison tightens her hold on Emily's hands, letting the brunette know that it was okay to say whatever she needs to, she won't be angry. _"You broke my heart Alison, you made me feel so awful about myself that I didn't want to keep going anymore. That was the worst of all. You broke me. I started doing this in order to have release from everything in my head, when everything is too much, it calms me, it clears my head and keeps me in control" _She lowers her head in shame and let's the tears fall. A small whimper escaping her as she feels a warm hand gently tilt her head up to look into ice blue eyes. Emily can see that Alison is crying too now, the pain and regret she feels evident on her face. Seeing the love of her life fall to pieces all because of her has broken Alison's heart.

Alison gently moves her hands away from Emily's to cup her face before placing a kiss on her forehead. _"I want you to listen very closely Em. No matter what happens, from here on in, I will be here for you. I will do anything it takes to help you. I will never hurt you, betray you or humiliate you ever again. I will spend the rest of my life making up for the things I've done if I have to. I'm going to look after you, nothing is going to happen to you ever again. I promise" _

With that, Alison leans forward to capture Emily's lips in a gentle kiss, placing one hand on the back of her neck and the other on her waist. Emily immediately reciprocates, slipping both her hands into Alison's long, golden hair. When they pull away for air, Alison wastes no time in pressing her lips to Emily's neck, kissing her pulse point before whispering _"Forgive me" _into the crook of the brunettes neck. Alison leaves a trail of kisses down her lovers neck before working her way back up to her lips, kissing her mermaid deeply. When Alison pulls away again, she pulls Emily's right arm to her face, and for the second time that night Alison lightly kisses Emily's scars, whispering apologies and begging for forgiveness between each kiss she plants on the brunettes skin.

Once Alison has kissed every self-inflicted wound, she wraps her arms around Emily's waist, holding her as close as she possibly can. For over 5 minutes they stay in the position, Alison holding Emily close to her while the brunette cries. Once they have separated, she takes Emily's hand in her own and leads the way out of the woods and back to the car.

Alison opens the passenger door for Emily and the brunette slides inside before yawning loudly. Alison grabs a blanket from the backseat and places it over Emily to keep her warm on the drive home. She closes the door gently before walking around the front of the car to open her own door, sitting in the drivers seat and turning to look at the brunette. Alison runs her hand through Emily's straight brown hair before starting the car and beginning the drive home.

By the time Alison's car pulls up in Emily's driveway, the brunette is sleeping soundly. Alison, not wanting to wake her, retrieves the spare key from behind a pot plant on the porch and opens the front door before returning to the car and picking Emily up in her arms and carrying her through the door and up the stairs to her bedroom. Alison can't help but notice that for someone of Emily's height, she is very light. She places Emily gently down on her bed, pulling the covers back and removing her shoes before tucking her into bed. Once Emily is settled in. Alison removes her own shoes and jacket and slides in next to her, once again wrapping her arms around her mermaid, placing a gentle kiss to Emily's shoulder.

_"I'll take care of you Emily, I promise. You will never be alone again" _


	3. Nobody Hurts My Mermaid

_"Em…it's going to be okay love, just relax. I'll be right there with you" _Alison said sweetly as she touched up her lipstick in the mirror. In the reflection, she could see Emily rummaging through her closet frantically, throwing various bits of clothing left,right and centre.

_"I have to find something to cover these or everyone is going to find out!" _Emily screeches with her back to the blonde. She can feel the panic welling up inside her as she tosses one of her leather skirts behind her. When she had the blade in her hand the day Alison had walked in on her, she had not thought about covering up the marks for school. Now she was panicking, the thought of her classmates discovering her secret was horrifying.

_"They won't find out sweetie. Come on, let me find you something to wear while you go down and make yourself some breakfast. You can't go to school on an empty stomach" _Alison says soothingly as she turns from the mirror, walks over to Emily and places her hands gently on the brunettes arms, turning her to the door and away from the closet. The blonde's touch helps Emily's racing heart to settle and she takes a deep breath to calm herself. She nods briskly and walks out the door and down the stairs to the kitchen.

Alison turns to the closet; clothes are scattered all over the floor and bed and all the drawers are open. Alison quickly scoops all the clothes up and places them in their correct places before selecting a blue turtleneck, some black jeans and a denim jacket for Emily to wear. The outfit would cover the brunettes scars while keeping Emily relatively cool in this hot weather. She lays them out on the bed along with a pair of white converse before leaving the room and heading downstairs to find Emily.

_"Your clothes are waiting for you upstairs darling, see? No need to panic" _Alison says softly as she enters the kitchen and sees the brunette sitting at the table with her back to the blonde _"Em?" _Emily doesn't respond, she doesn't even turn when she hears Alison's voice. Alison takes another step towards her and sees her staring at the bowel of cereal in front of her. Looking closer, Alison can see that Emily hasn't eaten any of it. The spoon is sitting next to the bowel on the table, it is clean and unused. Emily's hands are trembling slightly in her lap as she gazes at the bowel in front of her.

Alison pulls up a chair from the left side of the table and sits so she is facing Emily, taking both the brunette's trembling hands in hers as she sees a tear slide down her cheek. _"Em, what is it honey? What's the matter" _Alison asks cautiously, rubbing the back of Emily's hand with her thumb. She watches as Emily wipes her tear stained cheek on her shoulder and waits for the brunette to speak, she had promised she was going to be here for Emily no matter what and she was going to do just that.

_"I ca…I cant do it. I'm already enough of a disappointment to my parents, I can't disappoint them more by being fat," _Emily's voice is barely louder than a whisper _"I have to make them proud, I have to win at the meet this weekend and…oh god how am I going to cover these in the pool?!" _Emily yells as she waves her bandaged arms about. Panic clutches at her heart and stomach and she starts to breathe very fast, her head getting more dizzy with every breath she takes.

_"Em! Em it's okay. I'm right here. Breathe, just breathe. In and out, long deep breaths," _Alison chants as she grips Emily's hands tighter. _"It's okay Em, you're okay. Just breathe baby" _Alison soothes as the brunettes breathing begins to slow._"That's it, good girl, just keep on breathing" _The blonde encourages quietly. Emily takes a deep breathe and holds it for 5 seconds and slowly exhales, her breathing now steady and her heart beat even_. "Emily listen to me_," Alison begins and she pulls the brunette close to her chest and wraps her arms around her, rubbing her back soothingly_. "You're no disappointment to anyone, not by a long shot. You are smart, caring, sweet and so beautiful. You mean everything to me, literally everything. I love you more than anyone else on the earth. You are not fat darling, you are so not. You are beautiful and your curves are perfect and you are so breath taking. You are so amazing Emily Catherine Fields and I love you more than life itself_" Alison pressed a kiss to Emily's hair as she inhales the sweet scent of her mermaid. She pulls away in order to look the brunette in the eye. As Alison's ice blue finds Emily's chocolate brown, Alison can see the hurt in the brunette's eyes. She slides her hand to the back of the the swimmer's neck and pulls her in, their lips connecting in a gentle kiss. As Alison bites Emily's bottom lip softly, asking or entrance, Emily lets a quiet moan escape her as she grants the blonde access. Alison gently massages Emily's tongue with her own. It's not hard, needy and desperate like before, it doesn't feel like it's the last time they will ever kiss. This time it's soft, sweet and tender and it feels like home. Emily pulls Alison into her lap and wraps her arms around the blondes waist, pulling her close while Alison places her arms around Emily's kiss. It's like the blonde is trying to pour all her love for the brunette into this kiss; trying to show Emily just how beautiful she is and how much she is loved. When they pull away for air Alison leans down and presses a kiss to Emily's heart over her tank top before looking back up and resting her forehead on the brunette's. _"I love you Em, so much"_

Emily, still panting from the kiss, brings her hand up to caress the blonde's cheek before whispering softly _"I love you too Ali' _

_"Please Em, can you try to eat…for me?" _Alison pleads as she picks up the bowel on the table and scoops up a spoonful of cereal."_Please love…you don't need to do this to yourself. You're already perfect" _Alison, still sitting in the brunette's lap, aims the spoon at Emily's mouth. _"Open up" _Emily shakes her head and keeps her mouth tightly closed. _"Please Em…please" _Looking up, Emily can see tears welling up behind the blonde's eyes. She feels a twinge of guilt knowing that her selfishness is making her love cry. Reluctantly, she gives in and opens her mouth and Alison feeds the cereal to her without hesitation. This continues until all the cereal has been eaten, Alison feeding it to Emily while sitting in the brunette's lap. Once the cereal has all been eaten, Alison places the bowel on the table and pulls Emily into an embrace. _"Thankyou baby" _

Emily buried her face in the crook of Alison's neck and relaxed into her. After a while, Alison pulls away and swings her legs off the brunette. _"Come on, you should get dressed while I patch up my make-up" _Alison places a kiss to the brunettes forehead, letting her lips linger for a couple of seconds before twisting their fingers together and leading her up the stairs.

_"I'm not sure I can do this Ali" _Emily says worriedly as she stares out the window of the passenger seat of Alison's car. The blonde has one hand on Emily's thigh and is squeezing it lightly while the other hand is on the steering wheel, her eyes are focused on the road though out of the corner of her eye she can see the brunette fidgeting uncomfortably.

_"Em, it's going to be fine, I'll be right by your side the whole time. I promise," _Alison whispers softly. She gives Emily's thigh a slightly harder squeeze to reassure her as they pull up to the school. Alison turns the engine off and turns to face her girl, gripping both her trembling hands in her own. _"I won't let anything happen to you honey" _Emily gazes into Alison's blue eyes and sees nothing but determination and love in them. She nods slowly before pulling her hands away rom Alison's and undoes her seatbelt before sliding out of the car. Alison follows suit and gets out of the driver's side before walking around the front of the car to grab Emily's hand and lock their fingers together and lead her towards the front of the school.

_"Everyone's looking at us" _Emily hissed as she observed the many pairs of eyes following her and Alison as they walked through the corridor hand in hand. Though this was not the first time they had held hands in school, even just as friends. Emily couldn't help but feel that the spotlight was more on them than usual when they did this. She couldn't understand though, what had changed? Alison tightened her grip on Emily's hand and rubbed her thumb soothingly over the back of Emily's hand in reassurance. As they rounded the corner to their lockers, a loud, male voice boomed through the hallway like a trumpet.

_"So it's true then, Emily Fields is a dyke!" _

This statement was met by laughter from the bystanders, Emily hung her head in shame, she could eel the tears welling up in her eyes and she tried her best to conceal them from the jeering crowd.

Alison's head snapped up to find the offender, Sean Ackard, standing with his mates by his locker, a look of satisfaction and pride on his face. Upon seeing him, a fire started in the pit of Alison's stomach, within seconds, the volcano erupted and all Alison could see was red. She released Emily's hand and stormed up to the boy who was about to regret ever being born.

_"What did you say!?" _The blonde spat, her fury evident in every syllable, her eyes bright with rage. _"What did you just say Sean?!" _She asked again, raising her voice this time as she reached him and stood inches from him. Sean was a taller than Alison by 4 inches but the heels the blonde was wearing brought her to eye level with him as she glared at him, her furious gaze never faltering as Sean shifted against his locker nervously. Alison grabbed his collar with both hands and slammed him against his locker, the back of his head bouncing off the metal. _"You listen to me you low-life scum, you do not EVER speak about her like that EVER again understand? If I find out you have even looked at her again I promise you, even God will not be able to save your soul after I'm done with you. You do not look at her, you do not talk to her, you don't breathe a word about her to anyone. Understand? Don't forget that I'm Alison DiLaurentis and I know all your dirty little secrets. Are we clear? _

Sean nodded, his eyes showing how intimidating Alison could be when she was angry. The blonde released his shirt and turned her back on him and walked away. Emily was leaning against her locker with her head down and hugging herself. She didn't think she could cope with this. Alison made her way towards her mermaid, every pair of eyes in the hallway fixed on the blonde as she wrapped her arms around Emily in a warm embrace. Emily let a single tear fall from her eyes as her her head rested on Alison's shoulder. Alison heard the quiet sob and pulled away from Emily to glare at the crowd still watching the pair.

_"That goes for everyone, if I hear anyone talking about her in a bad way or even looking at her, I will make them very sorry" _Alison said in a booming voice to the bystanders. With that, Alison takes Emily's hand in one of hers and leads her away from the locker area towards the bathroom.

Alison pulled Emily through the door to the bathroom and checked under all the stalls. Once concluding that they were alone she grabbed Emily's collar towards her and crashed their lips together. She felt Emily's breath hitch in the back of her throat in response before relaxing into the kiss and pulling Ali closer by placing her hands on the blondes waist and pulling her flush against her. Alison responded by wrapping her hands around Emily's neck and nibbling on her mermaid's bottom lip, asking for access. Emily granted it happily and as Alison slipped her tongue past her lip and into her mouth, the brunette couldn't help the moan that escaped her. Alison pushed Emily backwards until the brunette felt her back against the sinks. Alison picked Emily up and placed her on the counter, noticing how light the brunette had become. A few months ago it would have been impossible for Alison to lift Emily since she was at least 2 inches taller than the blonde and had lots of muscle; but now Emily was very thin, no longer carrying any muscle and also very pale. Emily wrapped her legs around Alison's waist to bring them closer until their bodies were pressed flush together again.

_"Ali_…" Emily moaned as Alison's lips left hers and latched onto Emily's neck, kissing and biting all the way down to her pulse point and gently biting and sucking on it. Emily thrust her hands into Alison's hair while the blonde kissed all the way up Emily's jawline before reconnecting their lips in a bruising kiss. Alison ran her hands slowly up Emily's back and resting them on her shoulders. After a while they both pulled away for air and Alison leaned forward to press a kiss to Emily's cheek before resting her forehead against the brunette's.

_"What was that for_?" Emily panted as she grabbed both Alison's hands in hers and laced their fingers together.

_"To show you how loved you are…"_

Alison twirled her pen in her hand aimlessly. She hadn't taken a single note from this lesson. She couldn't focus, she couldn't think about anything apart from Emily and how hard the day had been for her. As they had walked together between classes and during breaks, Alison had noticed many people pointing and laughing but hiding away when they saw the blonde glaring at them. Emily's eyes were constantly filling up with tears and it broke Alison's heart. She had to do something to stop this; nobody hurts her Emily and gets away with it.

She thought back to this morning when they had entered the school, Sean Ackard's words replaying in her mind over and over.

_"So it's true, Emily Fields is a dyke!" _

'So it's true'? So Sean had heard a rumour from someone else. He hadn't started it. Alison thought over the possible suspects. Ben? Jenna? Mona? It didn't seem like any of those losers would say something like that about Emily. They weren't stupid, they knew better. They knew Emily was sacred territory as far as Alison was concerned and all of them had felt the blonde's fury at some point in time. No, this was someone else, and Alison was going to find them if it was the last thing she ever did.

When the bell finally sounded, Alison quickly gathered up her things and dashed out the door. She knew exactly how to find the culprit and she was sure that under the right pressure, Sean would tell her anything she wanted to know.

As she stalked the hallways looking for Sean, a pool of anger was starting to work up inside her. How dare anyone do this to Emily! What had her mermaid done to deserve this? Alison felt the volcano boiling and she knew sooner or later it would erupt.

The vibration of her phone in her pocket pulled her out of her trance. She whipped it out to see she had a text from Emily.

**Emily: Prudence Finn and her friends started a "Dyke" chant in Math just now. Can't handle this anymore, I'm done :( **

Fear and panic welled up inside Alison. Done? What did she mean she was done? Alison could feel her heart beating a million times a minute as her fingers frantically typed a reply.

**Alison: Ok Em just calm down, everything is going to be alright. Where are you? **

Minutes passed by and there was no reply. Terror struck Alison like a bolt of lightning. What did she do? She opened a group message with Hanna, Spencer and Aria and typed "SOS. Find Emily NOW" Just as she was about to hit send her phone vibrated signalling she had a message. She felt relief wash over her when she saw that the sender was Emily.

**Emily: Dw I'm fine. **

Fine? Fine?! She really expected Alison to believe she was fine?!

**Alison: Em that's a lie. Tell me where you are now! **

No reply. Alison felt a tear slip down her face.

**Alison: Sweetie, I love you. Don't shut me out. I want to help**

It was barely a minute later when her phone vibrated again.

**Emily: Bathroom**

Alison breathed a sigh of relief and quickly typed a reply

**Alison: Ok stay there, I'm coming. **

With that, Alison set off down the corridor to find her mermaid. She pushed, bumped into and shoulder charged a lot of people but she didn't care. She just needed to get to Emily and keep her safe. When she finally reached the bathroom she wasted no time in bursting through the door.

The bathroom was deserted aside from one locked stall, Alison could hear sobbing from behind the door and it broke her heart to hear her mermaid cry. She slowly walked towards the door before knocking gently.

_"Em? It's me. Please open the door, I'm here now, everything is okay" _Alison's voice trembled slightly; seeing her Emily so utterly broken like this absolutely ripped her apart. She heard a sniffle and then the sound of a lock clicking as the door opened slightly. She pushed the door open and stepped inside before locking it again and kneeling down beside the sobbing brunette.

Gazing down at Emily's right arm, Alison saw two fresh cuts along the already mutilated flesh. Little droplets of blood lined the wounds and were travelling down her arm slowly like drops of water on a car window. A small pencil sharpener blade was on the ground next to Emily. Alison felt her heart sink to the bottom of her stomach at the sight.

_"Oh Emily_…" The blonde sighed, turning around to get some toilet paper in order to wipe them. Emily hissed in pain when the rough paper touched her skin but said nothing. Using her free hand to wipe the tears from her eyes, she watched the blonde's face as she cleaned the blood from her arms. There was no disgust, like Emily had been expecting, on Alison's face. There was just sadness. Sadness that her love was suffering so much. Once the bleeding had stopped, Alison wrapped a few layers of toilet paper over the cuts as a temporary bandage before cupping Emily's face in both her hands and pressing her lips to the brunette's forehead.

_"You…" _She started, tilting Emily's face gently so that their eyes met. _"You are better than this, better than them. They are nothing, worthless. They don't deserve your tears" _She whispered soothingly. Just as she said it, the bell sounded signalling the end of lunch. Alison stood up and extended both her hands to Emily to help her up. She pulled the brunette into a warm embrace, inhaling the sweet scent of her perfume before taking her hand and leading her out of the bathroom.

They walked hand in hand until they reached Emily's classroom. Alison pulled her into another hug before letting go of her hand.

"_Thanks for everything Ali, I'll see you after class_" Emily whispered to the blonde shakily. Pulling down her sleeves further nervously.

_"Anything for you sweetheart, yeah, I'll see you after class, I'd better get going, don't wanna be late_' Alison said before giving Emily a warm smile and setting off down the corridor in the direction of her English classroom.

Though she had no intention of attending today's lesson.

She was angry beyond words, she was going to put a stop to this. Nobody did this to her Emily. She was on a mission and she would not rest until she had accomplished it.

She finally arrived at the boy's locker room. Without knocking she pushed the door open and was met with a series of angry yells, swear words and voices telling her to get out.

_"Scram, all of you!" _She yelled over the boy's protests. All of them filed out one by one, knowing better than to mess with Alison DiLaurentis when she was angry. Alison saw Sean trying to slip out with the rest of the boys out of the corner of her eye. She grabbed him by his hair and forced him back _"Not you" _She spat and she shoved him into a nearby locker. _"We need to talk" _

Sean tried his best to not look intimidated but his efforts crumbled under the blonde's enraged glare. _"What do you want Alison? I won't say anything like that ever again okay?" _Sean said in a shaky voice and tried to make another getaway before being pulled back by his collar.

_"You're going to give me the name of the bitch who started this rumour right now if you want to leave this locker room with your manhood" _Alison said with venom spilling from her every word.

_"I can't, she would so kill me" _Sean said anxiously. 'Wow', Alison thought to herself. 'Forget taking his manhood, I don't think he had any to begin with'

_"Oh Sean,her very worst is nothing compared to what I will do to you if you don't give me the name" _She stepped closer to him with fire in her eyes.

_"Alison it doesn't…" _

_"Last chance Sean I mean it. You know what I will do, and do I look like I'm joking" _

_"Why do you care so much?" _

_"The name Sean!" _Alison yelled in his face, her patience wearing very thin. Sean stayed silent and froze as if he were paralysed, his eyes full of fear. _"Okay then" _Alison snarled a she pulled out her phone and began to call his mother's office.

_"Alright you win! I'll tell you everything" _Sean said, his voice shaking and his eyes wide open. _"I heard from Noel Kahn that a girl on the swim team was telling everyone Emily was a lesbian and that she was paying girls to have sex with her. He said that she was saying that she took Emily's virginity and that Emily was in love with her even though she was straight. _

Upon hearing that, the volcano erupted inside Alison. Her insides boiled and her hands began to tremble with rage. She couldn't think about anything other than hurting this bitch.

_"Who is it Sean, tell me or so help me god…" _Alison growled through gritted teeth as she glared daggers at him.

_"It's Paige McCullers" _


	4. You're The Real Thing

_"Who is it Sean, tell me or so help me god…" _Alison growled through gritted teeth as she glared daggers at him.

_"It's Paige_ McCullers"

When she hears the name spill from Sean's lips, Alison feels a sensation she has never experienced before bubbling up inside her. It was more than anger, it was more than rage. She could feel a fire starting in the pit of her stomach before spreading though her entire being. She knew Paige McCullers hated her and frankly, she couldn't care less, but now Paige had crossed the line, now she was targeting her Emily, but why? What had caused Paige to do this? You know what, she didn't care. The fact was that Paige _had done it_. Now she was going to pay for it.

The bell sounded, interrupting her train of thought. It was the end of school day now, Paige would be leaving and there was no way Alison could catch up to her. Though there was also no way Alison was letting her get away with this. She resolved to confront Paige first thing in the morning and to focus on Emily until then.

Without another word, she stormed out of the locker room. Deciding to focus on Emily for the night and deal with Paige tomorrow, and she WILL deal with Paige. Tonight though, her mermaid was most important. She whipped out her phone from her back pocket and typed a message to Emily

**Alison: Hey Killer ;) **

She strolled in the direction of the car park, stopping by her locker to collect her bag. Just as she went to close her locker, she smirked to herself. Maybe she could do something to make sure Paige knew that Alison was onto her.

She opened her locker again and reached for her stationary set and a notepad, ripping a page from it. She closed the door of her locker and wrote a message on the paper. 'I know what you did' before closing and locking her locker and walking through to the next corridor and sliding the note into Paige's locker. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out to see she had a new message from Emily.

**Emily: Hey what's up? **

She smiled softly before replying.

**Alison: I'm just wondering if you want to sleep over tonight? Please? Xo**

**Emily: Yeah ok sure :) **

Alison felt her heart leap when she saw that Emily was wiling to spend the night with her. She knew however that there was one thing she needed to do first before they went to her house.

**Alison: Awesome :) I'll pick you up about 5?**

**Emily: No it's ok I'll drive to yours**

**Alison: No Em I'm picking you up ok? Just trust me on this **

**Emily: Ok, see you at 5 :) **

Alison put her phone in her pocket and checked her watch, 4:50. She walked briskly out the doors and headed towards the parking lot. She hopped in her car and drove to Emily's house. When she pulled up in the Fields' driveway, she noticed her body trembling with nerves. She hoped Emily would forgive her for what she's about to do. She knows that this will be hard for her, but Alison is doing it to protect her.

She knocks on the door and then enters, knowing that Emily would most likely be in her bedroom. She walks upstairs and knocks on Emily's bedroom door.

_"Em? It's me" _She says shakily as she scans the room. Emily is sitting on her bed, her overnight bag on the floor next to her. She looks up when she hears Ali's voice and beams. The blonde was always able to make her smile, no matter what the day had been like. She leaps off the bed and jumps into Ali's arms, wrapping her legs around her petite waist and burying her head in the crook of Alison's neck.

_"I can't live without you" _Emily whispers into the blonde's hair.

_"You won't ever have to sweetie, I promise"_ She replies softly, rubbing her back in an up and down motion. Pulling back from the embrace to look into her chocolate brown eyes. She brings a hand up to stroke Emily's cheek. _"There is nothing I wouldn't do for you Emily. That's why I'm doing this" _She says with a serious tone to her voice. Emily's eyes widen in fear, assuming the worst.

_"A…are you breaking up w…with m…me?" _Emily stutters, her eyes welling up with tears.

_"NO! no Emily it's not that at all honey" _Alison says very fast, quick to reassure the brunette that's not what's happening. She places both hands on the brunette's shoulders and pushes her down gently to sit on the bed before kneeling in front of her, taking both of Emily's hands in hers and rubbing her thumbs over the back of them soothingly. _"Emily, I love you so much, and seeing the pain you are in is tearing me apart, I feel responsible for all of this and you don't know how much I wish I could take away your pain. I can't bear the thought of you ever hurting yourself again. So Emily, I need you to give me everything you could use to hurt yourself, every blade, everything." _

Emily's body visibly tenses at the blonde's words. She looks down at her feet and begins to panic. She begins to breathe at an alarming pace and her hands start to shake. Alison feels the change and lets go of Emily's hands to cup her face in both hands, Emily's eyes find Alison's as she begins to lose colour in her face.

_"Breathe Em, breathe baby, I'm right here. You're okay. Come on, breathe" _Alison chants soothingly. Emily's breathing begins to settle and she brings her hands up to hold Alison's wrists.

_"I…I can't. I can't do it" _Emily says, her voice broken and shaking her head furiously.

_"Yes you can baby, it's for your own good. Please give them to me_" Alison says quietly, leaning up to press her lips to Emily's temple. Emily looks into Alison's eyes and can see this is not argument she can win. So she stands up and walks to her dresser, opening the drawers and removing razors, scissors, pocket knives and broken shards of glass and walking back to where Alison is now seated on the bed. Alison holds out her hand and Emily hesitates. She knows Alison is doing this out of love and concern, but she can't help but feeling a twinge of anger towards the blonde for taking away her tools and stopping her from being able to do it.

_"Em, please_" Alison says, her voice barely louder than a whisper. Emily sighs and drops the items into Alison's outstretched hands. Alison takes them and places them in her pockets before picking up Emily's overnight bag, taking the brunette's hand and leading her downstairs and to her car. As they drive to Ali's place, she puts one hand over Emily's heart and keeps the other on the steering wheel.

_"I'm really proud of you Em, I know that would have been hard for you to do" _Emily smiles weakly and nods, acknowledging Alison's comment. They remain silent for the rest of the trip. When they arrive at Alison's house, Alison grabs Emily's stuff from the back seat and opens the passenger door for her. They go straight up to Alison's room. Alison place Emily's bag by the door before taking Emily by the hand and leading her to her backyard and out into the woods by the river near Ali's house.

_"You're going to throw all of these…" _She pulled out all the tools Emily gave her earlier out of her pocket "_Into the river, so then you're proving to yourself that you don't need them anymore" _

_"I can't, I can't because I do need them Ali" _Emily answered, reaching out to take them but Ali was too fast and pulled her hand away and placed her other hand on top.

_"You don't need them anymore Em, you have me. I'm never leaving you again" _Alison hands her one of the razors, places the rest in her pocket and walks behind Emily to wrap her arms around her from behind. She places a light kiss to Emily's shoulder and whispers in her ear. "_Let it go, you are stronger, you don't need to do this anymore" _Emily takes a deep breath, then pulls her arms back and hurls the blade into the air. It lands with a small splash into the river and disappears. Alison beams and leans into kiss Emily's cheek before handing her another, and another until they have all been thrown into the water.

_"I'm so proud of you Killer" _Alison says beaming. She pulls Emily in by the waist and kisses her sweetly. Emily kisses back and brings her hands to twist in Alison's hair. When air is needed, they both pull away and Alison rests her forehead on Emily's before taking her by hand, placing a kiss to the top of it and to each of her knuckles and leading her back to the house.

_"I didn't know you were such a good cook" _Emily says as she spoons some pasta onto her fork and lets it hover over the bowel. Alison gives her a small smile while she eats her own. It's only when Emily looks up that she notices the blonde's eyes fixed on her with a look in her eyes she couldn't quite make out.

_"Ali… what's wrong" _Emily asks, frowning.

_"You haven't eaten any… you keep picking it up with your fork, talking and then dropping it back into the bowel without putting it in your mouth" _Alison answers, her voice full of concern.

Emily's smile drops instantly, she had to give it to Alison, the girl was very observant. She looks away from the blonde to the floor, then back to Alison, then back to the floor again.

_"Em…will you look at me please?" _Alison begged.

_"I…I'm just not hungry and I didn't want to hurt your feelings" _Emily stuttered, forgetting the conversation her and Alison had that morning about feeling like a disappointment.

_"Em, I know when you're lying to me, and plus, you haven't been eating for months now. Everyday at school during lunch you're either sitting there playing with it or you're talking a lot but never touching your food! By 5th period we can all hear your stomach grumbling across the damn room! When we ask you if you're hungry you always tell us no but when one of us is eating something in front of you, you look at it like a dog looks at a bone!" _Alison didn't mean to raise her voice but she was so concerned for Emily and it was angering her that Emily couldn't see how beautiful she was. She took a deep breath to calm herself and lower her voice before continuing. _"Em, I need to ask you something and I need you to be completely honest with me"_

Emily looks at Alison in surprise, she knew Alison noticed a lot of things but she didn't realise Alison had been onto her for so long, why had she waited this long to say something? "_Ok Ali, what is it?" _She asked nervously, she knew she couldn't lie to Alison, the blonde could read her like a book. She was afraid what Alison was going to ask her.

Alison looked her dead in the eyes from across the table, reaching over to hold Emily's hand. _"Em…Have you been starving yourself to lose weight?" _

Emily's breath hitched in her throat. Crap. She lowered her head to look at the pattern on the table, tracing the lines with her free hand before answering, in a voice no louder than a whisper _"Yes" _

Alison stands up and moves to sit in the spot next to Emily, never letting go of her hand. She pulls Emily's bowel of pasta towards her and scoops some up with her fork. _"Em… when I first noticed you weren't eating at school, I thought you were just not hungry or maybe you were getting sick or something. Then when you started to play with your food and go to any lengths possible to not eat it, I knew something was wrong. I watched you closely every day at school and at sleepovers, I began to see a pattern. I talked to Coach Fullerton, I asked if anyone was on any diets or something for swimming and she said no. So I knew you weren't eating but I didn't know why. Then the other day when I found you hurting yourself, I understood a little better, I realised that the two problems might be linked. I still don't understand completely, so please help me understand, explain it to me please" _

Emily is eyeing the fork in Alison's hand as if it were poison… though to her… it was. She knew what Alison had in mind and she knew there was nothing she could do to get out of this, she swallowed thickly before speaking.

_"It's just… nothing I do seems to be good enough for anyone, coach says I need to improve more even though I've been beating my personal best, I'll never be good enough. Mom and Dad, I'm not the daughter they want, I can't bring myself to tell them I'm gay. If I'm skinny and perfect than I'll be good enough for them and I thought if I was skinny you would love me the way I love you_" Alison lets the tears fall at these words as she feels guilt clutch at her heart. _"I'm not good enough for anything or anyone as just Emily Fields, but as skinny Emily Fields I might be" _

Alison felt her heart shatter in her chest, she couldn't believe Emily had been suffering as much as she had for so long and she never knew. She felt so much hatred for herself and regret for everything she had done. She tried to hold herself together for Emily's sake. She places her hand on Emily's tear stained cheek, wiping them with her thumb before pulling Emily in for a gentle kiss, tasting salt as the tears fall freely between them. Alison pulls back to look into Emily's eyes before peppering kisses all over her face. She takes both of Emily's hands in hers before speaking.

_"Em.. Please eat something, you don't have to finish it just have a fair bit of it. You can't swim without food in your system, you could do yourself a serious injury. Please Em… for me_?" Emily could see the tears forming in Alison's eyes so she sat down and picked up the fork and began to eat. It tasted delicious, though Emily couldn't escape the feeling of guilt she had over eating. Seemingly reading her mind, Alison pulled up a chair and sat next to the brunette and began to rub her back gently to calm her_."You can do it Em, just a little bit more_" With Alison's gentle words of encouragement, Emily was able to finish her bowel of pasta. Once the bowel was empty, Alison pulled her into a warm embrace before taking her by the hand and leading her up to the blonde's bedroom. Alison closed the door behind her and turned the key in the lock.

Emily watched from the bed as the blonde walked towards her, blue eyes never leaving brown. Alison reached out and stroked Emily's arm gently before leaning down to capture her lips in a soft kiss. Emily moaned softly into Alison's mouth in response as Alison gently eased Emily down until she was lying on top of the brunette on the bed, lips never parting. Emily whimpered quietly when Alison's lips left hers, only to gasp when they latched onto her neck. Alison's teeth gently nipped Emily's pulse point, earning a soft moan from the brunette. Alison continued making a line of soft kisses along Emily's neck and throat, Emily's breathing increasing as a result. Alison gently brought her hands to trail lightly along the brunettes stomach, her touch so gentle, like she thought Emily would crumble if she was too rough. Emily couldn't stop the single tear that fell from her eye, Alison was touching her with such tender, loving care, like she was the most precious thing in the world. Alison glanced up to look into Emily's chocolate brown eyes, seeing the tears fall and pressing her lips to every one of them, tasting the salt on her lips and something that was distinctly Emily, Alison hoped she would be the only one to ever taste that.

_"Are you okay_?" Alison whispers softly, bringing her hand to trace the brunette's collarbone_. "You're trembling_"

_"I'm fine_" Emily replies, her right hand moving up to cup Alison's cheek and rub her thumb along the blonde's lips. Alison places a kiss to Emily's thumb before their eyes lock again and Alison notices another tear falling from the brunette's eyes. She raises one eyebrow curiously, letting Emily know she doesn't buy it_. "I just love you so much" _

Alison smiles slightly before leaning down to press her lips to Emily's in a soft, slow kiss before peppering kisses all over the brunette's face and neck. Placing one last kiss on Emily's nose before pulling back to look into her eyes once again.

_"Can you feel it Em_?" Alison breathes

_"Feel what_?" Emily asks nervously, afraid of what the blonde is insinuating.

_"The electricity, the energy… the push_" Alison answers cautiously, afraid of startling Emily in case she wasn't on the same vibe as her. The last thing she wanted to do was force Emily into something she wasn't ready for. Emily sucks in a harsh breath in surprise when she figures out what Alison means. She can't believe this is happening, she hopes it isn't a dream, because that will be the cruelest torture imaginable. Alison surveys her, scanning her face to try and figure out the brunette's reaction. When Emily finally opens her mouth to answer, Alison holds her breath.

_"I feel it" _Emily responds sweetly, smiling softly at the blonde laying above her. She moved her hand to tuck a strand of golden hair behind Alison's ear and grabbed her neck to puller her closer. Their lips meeting again. Alison pours her soul into the kiss, exposing herself completely to Emily for the first time. Emily gasps in shock at the way Alison is kissing her, desperate, hard and needy. Alison is kissing her like her life depends on it. Emily pulls away to latch onto Alison's neck. When her lips connect to the place where Alison's neck connects to her shoulder, a dreaded memory invades her mind.

_'…and trust me if I'm kissing you, it's because it's practise for the real thing'_

Emily pulls away quickly to find Alison gazing at her curiously, one eyebrow raised in concern.

_"Em? What is it? What's wrong?" _Alison breathes from where she is still laying on top of Emily, bringing a hand to caress Emily's face gently. She waited patiently or Emily to speak.

_"I…I..I just need to know that this isn't just p-p-practice for the real t-t-thing" _ Emily stutters as tears threaten to fall. She couldn't handle being with Alison like this and having it ripped away from her so unceremoniously by the blonde. She searched Alison's face for any sign of dishonesty. She found none. Alison was looking at her intently, a look of pure guilt and regret on her face.

_"Emily" _The blonde began slowly, trying to stop her own tears. _"You are the real thing" _She whispered. In that moment, Emily knew it was honest, she knew Alison was telling the truth. The blonde had laid her armour down at her feet, she was allowing herself to be vulnerable towards Emily. Alison was opening up to her, letting her into her thoughts and fears, her dreams and her feelings for the first time. Emily stared into Alison's blue eyes, she knew that Alison was telling the truth now. She had no doubts. She wanted to experience this with Alison, more than anything, and now that she knew that the blonde wanted the same for the right reasons.

Alison cupped Emily's face in both her hands, placing a light kiss on her forehead before gazing into her chocolate brown eyes. _"Are you sure?" _The blonde whispered, she needed Emily to know that she didn't have to do this, that it wouldn't upset her if she wasn't comfortable, that she could wait. Emily nodded slightly, taking a deep breath before answering.

_"More than anything else in the world_" Emily said confidently before pulling Alison down so their lips could meet again. The kiss was soft and sweet, yet hungry. Alison gripped the hem of her shirt and gave it a tug, pulling away to look into Emily's eyes, silently asking for permission. Emily responded by giving Alison's lips a gentle peck and raising her arms above her head so Alison could remove the garment. The blonde gently ran her hands up Emily's toned stomach as she removed the shirt. Once it was off, Alison leans down to place a line of soft kisses from Emily's throat, through the valley of her breasts, all the way down to the waistline of her pants, stopping to dip her tongue into Emily's belly button. Emily moaned in response, the sound was like music to Alison's ears and she felt her body flood with desire. Alison looked into Emily's brown eyes, now a shade darker than normal, before speaking again.

_"Open up to me Em, let me into your world, let me be your shoulder to cry on, your best friend, your lover" _Alison said in a husky voice as she trailed her fingers gently across he brunette's stomach and ribs. Seeing the brunette this vulnerable opened her eyes to who emily really was in her life. She was her soulmate, and Alison didn't want to have sex with Emily Fields, she wanted to make love to her. She wanted to remember every curve of her mermaids body, every crevice. She wanted every inch of Emily's body to feel her love. She wanted every cell of her being to know what it was like to be touched by her. She leant up to capture Emily's lips in a searing kiss, one filled with passion and desperation. Emily lifted Alison's shirt and the blonde pulled away so that Emily could peel it off her body. Alison took one of Emily's hands in hers and interlaced their fingers. Feeling the brunette's hand trembling, Alison brought it to her lips and kissed the back of her hand before placing both their hands over the blonde's heart.

_"I love you Alison" _Emily whispered shakily, tears falling freely from her chocolate brown eyes. This was beyond anything Emily Fields had ever felt, ever experienced, hell even beyond anything she had ever dared to dream. Here she was, laying underneath Alison DiLaurentis, the love of her life, who loved her back, on a bed topless. Alison smiled and leaned down to give Emily a peck on the lips before resting their foreheads together.

_"I love you too" _The blonde breathed back before leaning back down and crashing their lips together in a bruising kiss. She ran her hands gently down Emily's sides, fingertips lightly grazing her tan skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. The blonde's fingers traced along her mermaids black lace bra until they reached the clasp, Emily arched her back to allow Alison better access to undo the clasp. Alison does so with a tear falling from her eye. Both girls cried gently and Alison leaned down to press her lips to Emily's, their tears blending together and the taste of salt on their lips. Alison's emotions were all over the place, she loved the girl beneath her more than anything in the world. No matter what happens, she will protect her mermaid. She gently slides Emily's bra down her arms, exposing her perfect breasts. Under Alison's heated gaze, Emily's instinctual response is to cover up her bare chest, she moves her arms to do this but Alison, expecting it, gently grips Emily's biceps to stop her. Emily looks the blonde in the eye for the first time since Alison had removed her bra, she sees nothing but love and desire and relaxes, letting her hands drop to her sides.

_"You are so beautiful" _The blonde says honestly, she had never felt anything this powerful before. Her desire to care for the brunette, to protect her, to love her, consumed every fibre of her being. Every part of her belonged to Emily, and every part of her wanted to kiss her and touch her. _"Can I touch you Em?" _She whispered anxiously, she realised that this will be the first time she will touch Emily so intimately. The brunette nods her head slowly before grasping Alison's wrists and leading the blonde's hands to her breasts, placing her hands over Alison's on the soft mounds of flesh. Alison squeezes her mermaid's breasts appreciatively, rubbing her thumbs over her pink nipples, causing her girl to moan and it is the most erotic sound Alison has ever heard. She pulls her hands away and scoots down the bed. She begins to undo the button on Emily's pants and pull the zipper down, looking up at her mermaid's face for permission. Emily nods and Alison swiftly removes the brunette's jeans and underwear, throwing them somewhere behind her.

Though she has seen Emily naked before, this is different… special. The blonde wonders how she has been gifted with the prize beneath her, she is going to take Emily's virginity. She is going to be the first to make the brunette come undone. It was exhilarating, it was electrifying. Alison scoots to the end of the bed, she kisses both of the brunette's feet lightly, trailing her lips up to her ankle and kissing her ankle whilst holding her leg like it is solid gold. Alison then repeats this on the brunette's other leg, tracing her lips up to her knees and thighs, placing a kiss to the inside of her thighs, kissing Emily's hips before wrapping her lips around the brunette's right nipple swirling with her tongue and gently nipping with her teeth, causing Emily to moan longer and louder.

_"Take your clothes off too" _Emily said, noticing Ali was still fully clothed The blonde smirked before standing and slipping her shirt off her head and shoving her skinny jeans down past her thighs and kicking them off the rest of the way. She settled back on top of Emily with her bra and panties still on, their legs intertwining.

_"I thought you might want to take them off me" _The blonde explained, smiling softly. Emily's eyes lit up and her hands travelled to the clasp of Alison's pale blue bra, Emily liked blue on Alison as it brought out her eyes. She unhooked the blonde's bra and tossed it across the room. She reached down to shove Alison's panties down her legs and the blonde kicked them off. Both girls groaned at the feeling of skin-to-skin contact and feeling every inch of their bare bodies pressed flush against each other.

_"Ali please… Touch me" _The brunette pleaded softly. Alison smiled as she pressed her lips to Emily's as her hand caressed the brunette's cheek before slowly tracing down her front, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind, until she reached Emily's most private part. Alison groaned at the feeling of Emily's arousal on her fingers. She places soft kisses along her mermaids jawline, listening to Emily's moans as she slipped her fingers up and down Emily's centre. _"Ali… Please… Inside" _Emily panted. Alison smirked before gently pushing the tip of her index finger inside her mermaid, matching Emily's low moan with one of her own because god she feels amazing. She begins to slowly thrust in and out of Emily whilst curling her finger so that it grazes across Emily's sweet spot with every thrust.

_"Is this okay?" _The blonde asks anxiously because she doesn't want to hurt Emily. She needs to make sure that the brunette is okay with what they're doing.

_"God yes" _Emily breathes back as her back arches and her eyes slam shut_. "Faster Ali please_!" The brunette pleads, biting on her lip in an attempt to keep quiet. Alison begins to speed up her movements with every thrust before adding a second finger, slowing down so Emily's body can adjust to the second finger before speeding up the pace again, her thumb gently massaging the brunette's clit_. "God yes Ali!, right there! I'm so close babe_"

_"Come for me baby_" Alison whispered into her mermaids ear. Those four words made Emily cry out as her body convulsed. Alison slowed her pace but continued to thrust in and out of Emily to help her ride out her high. Once Emily had come back down to earth, Alison kissed a path up her mermaids stomach, chest and throat before connecting their lips in a gentle kiss. When their lips parted, Alison wiped the tears from Emily's cheeks while the brunette did the same to her_. "I love you, my beautiful mermaid_" Alison whispered as she nuzzled Emily's neck, placing soft kisses along her neck and collarbone. Emily wrapped her arms around Alison as the blonde rested her head on the brunette's chest and began to drift off to sleep.

_"Ali don't you want me to…." _Emily began until she was silenced by Alison's finger on her lips.

_"Shhh, another time love. Tonight was about you_" The blonde then lifted Emily's forearm to her lips and kissed the now healing cuts that covered her tan skin. Emily sighed softly before closing her eyes and drifting off to sleep. Alison smiled at the sight of the now sleeping brunette, kissing Emily's forehead and wrapping one arm around her torso and placing her head on Emily's shoulder, holding her mermaid protectively.

_"I know how hard everything must be for you Em, but I am right here and I'm not going anywhere because I love you against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be. We are going to get through this together, you and me Killer" _

With that, Alison closed her eyes and drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

Alison walked into the cafeteria for lunch, heading over to collect her food before she saw her. Paige was walking in from the courtyard with some girls from the swimming team, talking and laughing. Anger boiled in Alison at the sight of her, this was the girl who was tormenting her sweet Emily, who was saying nasty things about her pure, innocent Emily. 'Not anymore' the blonde thought to herself before abandoning her lunch and walking briskly to where Paige was standing with her teammates.

_"McCullers!" _Alison bellowed as she walked up to the girl who had hurt her mermaid. Alison's voice caused everyone's heads to turn in their directions, people could be heard whispering 'oh god here we go' and 'should we leave now'. When Alison finally reached her prey, everyone's eyes were focused on the two girls, holding their breaths.

Paige opened her mouth to speak but was cut of by Alison_. "No, no you don't get to talk here bitch. I don't know who you think you are, but what you are doing stops now, you will NEVER speak another word about Emily again. Otherwise I will make you wish you had never been born. Clear?"_

_'I don't know what you're talking about Alison_" Paige tried to look unfazed but failed miserably, a smirk tugging at her lips giving the game away.

_"You don't? Then let me refresh your memory_" Alison began, not bothering to keep her voice down because she wanted everyone to hear this_. "You are the one who has been spreading all the rumours about Emily. You're the one who said that Emily was paying for sex with girls, which she has never done. That you took her virginity, which I know for a fact you didn't, and that she is in love with you which I also know for a fact isn't true because she is in love with ME and I'm in love with HER" _The onlookers gasped at this confession. Alison turns her attention to them _"That's right, I'm in love with Emily Fields. Get over it, I may be a girl, but I'm still Alison DiLaurentis and if I hear any bitchy comments about Emily again I will destroy you" _Her voice and the angry glare in her eyes let everyone know that she was serious, they all cowered back in their seats. _"And you…" _Alison turned back to Paige whilst pulling something out of her back pocket. _"You were the one who was in love with Emily, I have the proof right here. You remember this letter?" _She smirked waving it in front of Paige's face while the swimmer looked at her with fear in her eyes and all colour drained from her face. _"You're going to stay the hell away from Emily and never speak a word about her again or this will show up in Daddy's daily mail as well as every students locker. Emily is too pure, too innocent, too kind for you and she will always deserve better than you" _

_"Like you're good enough for her Alison?" _Paige yelled back, her voice shaky with humiliation. _"You're an evil bitch, you'll never be good enough for her either" _

_"Actually she is" _Everyone turned to see Emily standing by the vending machines, having overheard the last bit of the argument. She walked over to Alison, grabbing her hand and lacing their fingers together. _"She's more than good enough, she's perfect. I never paid anyone for sex Paige, least of all you. There's not enough money in the world that would make me sleep with you" _Emily spoke calmly but firmly. _"You used me to cover up the fact that you're a lesbian too" _

_"Do you know what would happen if we went to the principal and told him what you had done? You could say goodbye to swimming for sure" _Alison added _"you can take this a warning or a threat, it's up to you. However, if you don't think I will follow through with everything I have said then you don't know who you're dealing with. Now crawl back into your hole and leave us alone, pigskin!" _The blonde emphasised the word 'us' because as far as she was concerned, her and Emily were one. She gave Paige her trademark smirk before pulling Emily away by the hand, leading the brunette into the walkway before spinning her around and crashing their lips together. Emily's breath hitched in response before relaxing into the kiss, hands coming up to tangle in Alison's golden hair while the blondes landed on her waist, pulling them closer.

When their lips parted, Alison brought her hand up to cup her lovers cheek. _"I love you Em, I'd do anything for you" _

Emily turned her head and kissed the inside of Alison's palm. Bringing her own up to hold the blonde's wrist. _"I love you too Alison, more than anything" _

_A.N. Firstly I just wanna say how sorry I am that is took so long to update, hopefully an extra long chapter will make up for it. I promise I will try to update more frequently from now on. Senior Year is really kicking my ass. I'll be updating shortly, the story is going to take a darker turn in the next few chapters but leave me a message letting me know what you want out of the story and I'll do my best to put it in the story. Leave me a review as well! Love you all xx_


	5. Lean on Me

_"I hear Paige's dad wants to send her off to a boarding school"_

_"Apparently he found out that Paige was a lesbian" _

Many students could be overheard as Alison and Emily made their way through the hallways for their first lesson. It was the Monday after Alison and Paige had their showdown in the cafeteria and Paige hadn't been seen at school since the previous Thursday. Emily could feel the stares as she walked hand in hand with Alison towards her English class. The blonde had taken to escorting Emily to all of her lessons, in fear that someone would try and hurt _her _mermaid. Today though, Emily couldn't help but notice that Alison seemed particularly cheerful today.

As they drove to school, Alison had been adjusting the radio until she found the station she wanted, turning up the volume so that P!nk's "So what" could probably be heard in the next street while the blonde sang along just as loud. Emily couldn't help but smile at the sight in the passenger seat, she thought Alison singing in the car was absolutely adorable.

And now as they walked, Emily could see a smile tugging on Alison's lips. The blonde seemed to be very pleased with herself.

_"Hey Ali?" _The brunette said nervously as she cast her eyes over the bystanders, all of who seemed to be watching the couple.

_"Yes angel?" _Alison replied sweetly, bringing their linked hands up to her lips to press a kiss to Emily's.

_"Did you…" _The brunette began anxiously _"Did you have anything to do with this thing with Paige" _

_"Of course I did" _Alison answered with her trademark smirk and a wink as they turned a corner and pulled to a stop at Emily's English class. _"She needed to be taught a lesson, nobody hurts my Emily" _

Emily's eyes met Alison's and found nothing but love there. Alison hadn't done this to be a bitch, she had done this to protect Emily. The brunette couldn't find it in her to be mad at the blonde. Though she didn't agree with Alison's idea of revenge, she knew the blonde had had her best interests at heart. She had just done it in typical Alison DiLaurentis fashion.

_"Ali what did you.." _Emily was cut off by the speaker in the hall.

'Emily Fields, please report to principal Hackett's office. Emily Fields to principal Hackett's office.'

Emily looked around curiously, she couldn't think what she had done to be called to the principal's office . She felt a gentle squeeze to her hand and looked up to see Alison looking at her with soft eyes and a reassuring smile.

_"It'll be fine babe" _The blonde said softly, leaning forward to peck Emily on the lips. _"It's probably about swimming or something. I'll see you at lunch" _She pulled the brunette into a tight embrace, pulling back and planting a light kiss on her forehead before turning and walking gracefully down the hall. Emily gazed on longingly, there were days when she still couldn't believe Alison was hers, she feared the time when she would wake up and discover that it had all been a dream.

Knowing she was being ridiculous, Emily set off in the direction of the head offices.

_"Mom?" _

As Emily entered the office, she was stunned to discover her mother sitting in one of the chairs in front of Hackett's desk. Her mother turned to look at her daughter, and it was only then that Emily noticed that her eyes were red and blotchy. It was obvious that she had been crying.

_"Mom? Wha-" _She began, only to be cut off by Principal Hackett.

_"Miss Fields, would you care to take a seat?" _He said with a tone that Emily had never heard him use before. It sounded almost… sympathetic. She took a seat next to her mother without question and placed her hand on her back in an attempt to comfort her. She wondered what could have happened to put her mother in such a state, and why she had come to school during the day. Was it something _she_ had done? She couldn't think of anything wrong she had done. She had handed in all her homework on time, she hadn't broken any rules, she hadn't skipped any classes and she hadn't done anything to upset any of her teachers. So what on earth could it be?

_"Mom what's going on?" _She asked cautiously. Rubbing her mother's back up at down slowly. Her mother took a few deep breaths before taking Emily's free hand in her own before answering.

_"Honey I'm sorry that I had to do this here and now but I just couldn't stand you not knowing" _She said shakily before letting out a strangled sob. Emily rubbed her thumb over her hand soothingly, silently urging her to continue. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, she knew it would be Alison. She made a mental note to respond to the blonde later, right now her mother was her main focus.

_"Know what Mom?" _She said, her nerves growing more and more by the minute. She turned to look at Principal Hackett, he was looking at the scene with a look of definite sympathy.

_"Honey, y-your father, he had a h-h-heart attack. He's gone baby. I'm so sorry" _Her mother responded.

Emily felt her breath catch in her throat as her entire body froze. No. No no no this couldn't be true.

_"Miss Fields, the school is willing to give you as much time off as you need and your position on the swim team will not be in any danger of being terminated during your absence" _Principal Hackett said. Emily barely noticed anything that he said. Her dad, her strong, loving dad was gone? Emily's entire world was coming down around her. _"Should you wish, we will also inform your friends of this news so they will be aware and understanding of your needs at this time" _

Emily didn't answer, she didn't even process half of what he had said. Instead, she stood from her chair and turned around and ran out the door, down the hallway and out of the front door to the school and onto the street. She kept running until she found herself in the park outside Rosewood Police Department. She let the tears fall then, hugging herself tight as she fell to her knees and sobbed uncontrollably. She stayed in this position for over an hour before the feeling of her phone vibrating in her pocket brought her back to reality. She pulled it out, expecting to see her mum's name on the screen, but was surprised to see it was Alison calling. She contemplated ignoring it until she remembered that Alison was the one person who could help her right now. She slowly pressed the accept call button on her phone and placed it to her ear.

_"Emily_?" She heard Alison's voice laced with worry and she immediately felt sick_. "Em where are you? We're all worried about you. Why didn't you come back to class_"

Emily had remained silent, not knowing exactly what to say. She took a shaky breath before answering in a broken whisper _"Ali…" _

Alison could tell straight away that Emily was crying, she immediately stood and grabbed her purse and keys before speaking. _"Em, what's wrong, tell me where you are and I'll come" _

_"I can't live w-w-without…" _Emily could even finish her sentence. Saying it out loud made it more real. Her dad was never coming home, he was never going to see her graduate, or get married, or become a grandfather. He was just… gone. He was gone and he was never coming back.

_"Em? What do you mean? What can't you live without? Where are you?" _Alison's voice was increasing with worry and desperation.

Emily knew that Alison was the only person who could comfort her right now, and that she needed her. She swallowed thickly before answering _"Outside the police station" _

She heard Alison breathe a sigh of relief, _"Okay stay there, I'm coming" _ and she hung up the phone.

Emily pressed the end call button on her phone before placing it back in her pocket and curling up on the grass and crying her heart out as thoughts of a world without her father began to fill her mind again.

After a few minutes, through teary eyes, Emily could see a car pull up and she brought her head down into her neck and draped her jacket over her head to try and stop the shivering that was radiating through her body. She could hear heeled boots clacking on the pavement before feeling hands on her shoulders and Alison whispering 'come on', gently supporting her into a sitting position before wrapping her arms around the brunette and pulling her in close as Emily sobbed on her shoulder, hands fisting the material of the blonde's shirt, clutching to it for dear life.

Alison rested her chin and the top of Emily's head as she rubbed a hand up and down her back while whispering to the brunette in an attempt to calm her.

_"Shhhh, it's okay, you're okay. I'm here now" _

_"A-Ali" _The blonde was shocked at Emily's broken whisper _"Ali p-please d-d-don't let go" _Emily begged as she grasped Alison's shirt even tighter.

_"I won't babe" _She cooed softly, kissing the brunette's head _"I won't. Now why don't you tell me what's wrong?" _She asked, knowing that Emily couldn't afford to keep this bottled up inside or it would destroy her. She gently massaged Emily's scalp to soothe her and she waited patiently for the brunette to respond, and also understanding completely if she couldn't.

Minutes passed with only silence before Emily swallowed thickly and spoke. _"D-d-dad's g-g-gone. He had a heart a-a-attack, he's gone Ali a-a-and he's never coming back" _She managed to get out before a fresh wave of tears began to flow and Emily buried her face in Alison's neck.

Alison ached for Emily, she knew that Emily and her father were always very close. She had always been daddy's little girl, Emily's favourite time of the year was Christmas because her dad would always come home for Christmas. She wrapped her arms tighter around the shaking brunette, kissed her forehead and gently rocked them back and forth to calm her mermaid. When Emily's breathing had settled a little, Alison rose slowly to her feet, bringing Emily with her, and led her to the car keeping her arms wrapped around the hysterical brunette. She opened the passenger door and helped Emily climb into the seat before grabbing a blanket she had brought with her from the backseat and handed it to Emily, who quickly wrapped it around her and curled up on the seat. Alison sat in the drivers seat and started the engine. The blonde didn't speak, she knew that no words would help right now and that Emily just needed her there and needed her to look after her and drove to her house quickly. When she pulled in to her driveway, there were no other cars. Her parents must have gone out.

She led Emily, who still had the blanket draped over her shoulders, by the hand indoors and up to her bedroom. Emily sat on the bed while Alison picked out some tracksuit pants and a sweatshirt for her to wear. Handing them to the brunette with a sympathetic smile.

_"Change, you are staying here with me tonight, I'll ring your mum now while you get dressed" _She said before hugging Emily and kissing her cheek and leaving the room, closing the door behind her.

Emily slid her thin long, sleeve top over her head, exposing her scars. She ran her finger along them and when she did, she could feel her body screaming at her to cut. To find a blade or something sharp and let it take away all the pain. At this point in time she didn't care about anything, she just wanted to vanish and not exist anymore. She could hear Alison talking on the phone outside the door. She stood slowly and walked to Alison's desk and found a manicure set with scissors inside it. They were nowhere near as sharp as her razors, but they would do until she could find something better, they would give her immediate release, which she desperately craved right now. She sat beside the bed, the scissors open and the sharpest point mere inches from her wrist. As she was about to press down and slice her skin, Alison walked back into the room. The blonde sucked in a harsh breath when she realised what Emily was doing and quickly strode over to where the brunette was seated.

_"No, no, stop" _She said as she snatched the scissors before they could pierce the brunette's arm and threw them on the opposite side of the room.

_"Ali I need to, I need it to go away" _She begged desperately. But Alison wouldn't hear it.

_"You don't need to_, _you are so much stronger than this my love" _Alison said gently, kneeling down until she was eye-level with Emily. _"Look at me" _She whispered, tilting Emily's chin with a gentle hand. _"He wouldn't want this, he would want you to be the strong, resilient Emily that I know you are. I'm right here, by your side and I'm not going anywhere I promise" _

She knew Emily needed her, and she was determined to be her rock and her safety during this. As Emily clung to Alison tightly and started crying all over again, she held her mermaid close to her.

After hours of crying, Emily finally fell asleep in Alison's arms. The blonde gently lifted her into her bed and pulled the covers over her. Moving to lie down beside her, wrapping a hand around Emily's waist. Alison lay awake while Emily slept peacefully, prepared to stay awake all night in case the brunette needed her. She bent down and placed a kiss on Emily's forehead, rubbing the brunette's arms up and down. She knew this wasn't going to be easy for either of them, but she knew that Emily was going to need her now more than ever, and she would need to be patient, and kind and understanding. Many people believed that Alison DiLaurentis wasn't capable of being patient, kind or understanding; and truth be told, normally she wasn't. But there was something about Emily that made her want to be a better person, wanted to be good enough for her. For years Alison had not been able to wrap her head around the reason for this desire to be good enough for Emily, but know she knew the answer. She loved her, with all her heart, soul and mind.

With that thought, Alison rolled over and picked up the book resting on the bedside table and began to read. Preparing for the long night ahead.

_A/N: Hey guys, I am so so very sorry that this took so long to go up, I've had a very busy few weeks. Im going to try and do a new chapter every week now that I have free time. I'm not sure how i feel about this chapter so please leave me a review and let me know! I love reading your feedback :) _

_Much love xoxo_


	6. Read this pleAse!

**Hey guys, I'm halfway through the next chapter and I'll have it up soon. I'm so devastated by the Winter Premiere and the fact that Ali is now in Jail. But enough of my ramblings. I'm going to start writing some one and two shots to go along with my long stories, and i need some prompts. So I would REALLY APPRECIATE IT if you guys could PM or review me some prompts that you would like me to write about. I promise I will do a one shot of every prompt I am sent and the first one will be up by this time next week along with the new chapter for this story. So if you could send me some prompts, it would be amazing! Also please remember to review my current stories, I love reading your feedback and I try to input what you guys want into the stories as much as i can. **

**Thanks a bunch and much love to everyone :) xoxoxo**


	7. Breaking Point

"I've brought you some pizza. Are you hungry?" Alison said as she walked into her bedroom with a small plate with two slices of Hawaiian pizza on it. It had been two days since Emily had received the news of her father's death, and the brunette had fallen into a deep depression. Despite Alison's best efforts, she had not been able to convince Emily to get out of bed or to do anything or to even _talk _to her. Emily had not said a word since the evening that Alison had picked her up from outside the police station.

Emily said nothing, she didn't even turn to look at Alison from where she was lying on her side facing the wall with her back to the blonde. She just closed her eyes for a moment, open them again and continue staring at the wall. Alison sighed and moved to sit on the bed beside Emily, placing the plate in her lap and rubbing the brunette's back with one hand and lacing her fingers with the brunette's in the other.

"Em, I know this must be hard for you, but you need to eat at least. Your dad wouldn't want you to fade away because you're not eating. Please Em, just a little bit" Alison whispered pleadingly. Seeing Emily like this was tearing her to shreds. She didn't know how to ease the pain her mermaid was enduring. She would lie beside Emily for hours at a time, cuddling and placing soft kisses along the brunette's face, neck and shoulders to soothe her while Emily cried silently, she would talk to her even if Emily never responded, she even put on some of Emily's favourite movies, ones that weren't horror as she thought that Emily couldn't cope with those right now, and tried to convince Emily to watch them with her.

But Emily would just mumble incoherently and continue to stare in front of her. Alison knew her girl was grieving for her father but right now her mermaid was wasting away and she felt so hopeless.

"Em, I don't want to have to do this, but if you won't eat this, I will force feed you. I understand how you feel but you need to, please babe?" Alison tried. She really didn't want to force Emily, but she hoped she would understand that she was doing it because she cared and because she was worried. Emily rolled over to face her and the two girls eyes met. Emily's looked dead and numb whilst Alison's were wide and full of concern. Emily sat up slowly, sitting against the headboard with pillows behind her back and head, and held her hand out for the plate. Alison felt a wave of relief wash over her before handing the plate to Emily, noticing that the brunette's hands were shaking.

"It's all my fault" The swimmer mumbled more to herself than Alison, though the blonde heard it anyway. Alison sat down beside Emily and rubbed her back sweetly.

"It's not Em, how could It be?" She asked quietly, her heart breaking at hearing how numb Emily sounded.

"I should have asked him to stay here, we knew about his heart but we didn't think it was that bad. I should have made him not go back" She answered before wailing as the tears came flowing. Alison felt some tears coming too and pulled Emily in for a tight hug while she whispered into Emily's ear.

"It's okay Em, it's okay my darling. Shhhhh" Alison soothed as she gently rocked them back and forth, something that seemed to comfort Emily. Alison knew that in these situations it was very common for relatives and friends to blame themselves, but it upset her just how much Emily was blaming herself. "There was nothing you could have done" She reasoned.

They stayed like this until Emily fell asleep in Alison's arms. The blonde set her down gently, caressing her hair and placing a kiss on her forehead and then turning off the light and shutting the door quietly. She pulled the covers back and snuggled behind Emily, wrapping her arm around her waist. Waiting to hear Emily's soft, even breathing before allowing herself to drift off to sleep.

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"You can go help out with the funeral arrangements Mrs Fields, I'll stay here with her" Alison said, turning around to make sure Emily was still asleep before giving Emily's mother a small smile.

"Thankyou Alison, you've been a lifesaver" Mrs Fields answered with a little smile of her own.

"It's no problem Mrs Fields, I'd do anything for her" She answered honestly.

"That's good to hear Alison" Mrs Fields said before checking her watch "Well I better get going, call me if there's any problems won't you?"

"Of course, take care Mrs Fields" Alison said with another soft smile.

"Same to you Alison" The older Fields woman said as she turned to the door and exited, walking briskly to her car and driving off.

It was now the weekend and Alison and Emily had not been apart for almost a week now. Alison adamantly refused to leave Emily's side, so they had slept over at Alison's house for two nights and now they were staying together at Emily's so the swimmer could be with her mother.

Alison closed the front door and turned to find Emily still asleep on the couch. She smiled softly as she walked into the kitchen and began making French toast for breakfast for Emily. She heard footsteps behind her and spun around to see Emily leaning against the wall with an expression of sadness on her face.

Though Emily had began to eat and talk again, she still spent most of the day in bed or lying on the couch watching TV or staring at the ceiling. Alison had not managed to get her outside despite her best efforts, and Emily seemed to be having nightmares. Alison would be awoken by Emily thrashing about and mumbling in her sleep, having to shake the brunette to wake her up and then hold her tightly in her arms to calm Emily down enough to get back to sleep.

And Alison ached for Emily, it crushed the blonde to see her love so utterly destroyed like this. She wished with everything she had that she could take Emily's pain away, even if it meant transferring it to herself.

"Your mum has gone to help prepare the funeral, she'll be back a bit later on. I'm making breakfast, do you need anything?" Alison asked gently, noticing that Emily had lost a considerable amount of weight recently.

"No, I just...don't want to be alone right now " Emily answered slowly. Walking over to the table and sitting down and gazing out the window, lost in thought.

Alison placed the toast on a plate and walked over to the table, where she had already set some orange juice and fruit salad. She put some toast on Emily's place and some on her own as well before taking the set across from the brunette.

"Are you going to let me clean you up today?" Alison asked pointedly. Over the last few days, Alison had wanted to clean Emily's cuts again but Emily had refused, saying that they were fine and healing well. Alison had insisted that they might get infected and that she had to at least take a look at them, but Emily had rejected the offer several times, making the blonde suspicious. While she really did want to clean them and take care of her mermaid, she also wanted to make sure there were no new additions.

"You're not going to let this go are you?" Emily asked with a hint of anger in her voice. She understood that Alison just wanted to look after her but she also felt so vulnerable and exposed with the blonde being in on her secret. Alison shook her head before taking a bit of her toast and Emily sighed before nodding.

Alison smiled slightly, "Can I do it after breakfast?" Emily nodded again, the sooner she got it over with the better she figured. Emily nodded again before digging in to her toast.

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"Ouch Ali, it stings" Emily whimpered as she sat on the edge of her bed while Alison cleaned the healing scars with an antiseptic wipe.

"I know babe and I hate to cause you pain but it needs to be done" Alison said sympathetically, trying to be as gentle as possible. Emily closed her eyes as she flinched at the sting again, she gritted her teeth and tired to focus on Alison's gentle touch. After another five minutes, she felt the pain stop. "There you are Em, it's done" Alison said as she wrapped the bandages gently around Emily's arms. "Now I need to stop by my place and get some things. Do you want to come?" She asked softly.

Emily looked down guiltily for a second. "No, I'll just stay here" She said quickly, looking away so that Alison wouldn't see the tears falling. Alison sighed before standing up and placing a kiss to Emily's forehead,

"Okay, I'll be right back" She said as she turned to leave.

"Ali wait!" Emily standing up and running to where the blonde was standing with her hand on the door. She wrapped her hand around the back of Alison's neck and pulled her in for a soft, sweet kiss. Alison let go of the door handle and wrapped her arms around Emily's waist, bringing her impossibly closer as her mouth opened slightly so that her tongue could caress Emily's. They kissed until they needed air, pulling back and resting their foreheads together.

"I love you" Emily gasped, still breathless from the kiss.

"I love you too, with all my heart" Alison responded, before pecking Emily on the nose and turning and walking out the door. As soon as she heard the car driving away, Emily walked to her closet.

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Half an hour later Alison walked through the front door of Emily's house with an overnight back over her back filled with spare clothes, toiletries and cosmetics along with some first aid supplies for Emily. She had hurriedly stuffed the first things she saw into the bag so she could get back to Emily faster.

"Em?" She called to let the brunette know she was back "Em, it's only me"

Silence.

Alison frowned before sliding the bag of her back and onto the floor beside the door before striding towards the stairs, it was probably nothing. Emily was probably just asleep. Nonetheless, Alison couldn't stop the fear that maybe the brunette wasn't asleep, and that she had done something while she was out.

"Em? Em!" She called again as she climbed the stairs quickly walking towards Emily's room "Em, where are you?" Alison's voice was shaky as she opened the door and stepped back in horror.

The room was just as she had left it half an hour ago, Emily's clothes were still on the floor and the bed was unmade. However, there was no sign of Emily. Alison ran to the bathroom and threw the door open, panic now flooding her chest making it nearly impossible to breathe. No sign of Emily in the bathroom either. She walked back into Emily's room, pulling her phone out of the pocket of her jeans and scrolling through her favourites until she found Emily's number, hitting dial and placing the phone to her ear.

'_Hey, it's Emily, leave a message and I'll ring you back' _Emily's voice was followed by a beep after calling for a minute with no answer. Alison opened her mouth to speak when her eye caught a glimpse of something on Emily's unmade bed. She ended the call and walked over to the bed and picked up the piece of paper that was sitting on Emily's pillow. She opened it with shaking hands, tears falling from her eyes and began to read.

_Alison_

_I'm so sorry, but I just can't do this anymore. Everyday that goes past I think it's going to get easier but it just doesn't, it only sinks in more that my dad is really gone and he is never coming back. Please don't blame yourself for this, it wasn't your fault. I just can't live in a world where he doesn't exist. _

_I want you to know Ali, that I love you very much and nothing will ever change that. I've loved you for as long as I can remember and when you told me you love me back, I swear I have never felt so happy in my entire life. The moments we shared together, I will treasure forever. _

_You're so beautiful and strong and you were my reason to live Ali. I love you so much. I just can't do this anymore, I don't even know who I am anymore, I lost myself and I can't find my way back. I'm sorry for not being strong anymore, I'm sorry for and the pain I put you through. I'm just so sorry. _

_I love you so much, stay strong and stay safe. _

_Goodbye my love. _

_Em._

_A/N: Cliffhanger! Will Ali get to Em in time to save her? Thankyou so much for the reviews! Please keep them coming! So as i said I will be taking prompts from now on, I will try my best to have them completed and uploaded within a week of __receiving__them so please please send me the __prompts__you would like to see. I will be doing all of them. _

_Also, in this story, in the next few chapters, will include the other __liars__so thats something to look forward to. _

_To Liz who left me a review asking me not to stop this story. Relax, I'm not near done with this tale yet :)_

_Let me know what you would like to see in the story and please review and favourite. _

_Much love xoxoxo _


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